"The Poopsmith is a great guy, he just has a crappy job"

Earlier this year I received a survey about income in the life sciences. I received an email today listing the results. I can also purchase software to look at all the data for the low low price of $262 (1/2 off!!), but since my job is second to the bottom of the list I'll just have to wait. Here are the results.

In general those working in the life sciences have a median income of $74,000.
However, 10% make less than $39,430 and 10% make more than $147,863, with some making in excess of $1,000,000.

By job function/level/tenure status, some of the interquartile ranges reported were:

Research VPs/Directors ... $100,750 - $179,625
"Distinguished" Researchers ... $103,875 - $197,750
Professors (11-12 month appointment - tenured) ... $100,000 -
$158,500
Research Managers ... $97,150 - $177,000
Presidents/Managing Directors ... $88,000 - $237,500
Laboratory Directors ... $70,200 - $127,493
Research Unit Supervisors ... $74,000 - $117,750
Government Section Heads ... $70,500 - $125,400
Professors (9-10 month appointment - tenured) ... $65,000 -
$103,000
Senior Consultants ... $58,500 - $104,600
Laboratory Managers ... $51,150 - $80,000
Assistant Professors (9-10 month appointment - on tenure track)
.. $49,365 - $66,562
Medical Technologists/Clinical Laboratory Scientists ... $48,280
- $64,000
Intermediate Researchers ... $41,000 - $70,000
Secondary School Teachers ... $41,750 - $60,000
Post-Doctoral Researchers in Academia (11-12 month appointment)
.. $36,998 - $45,000
Intermediate Research Technicians ... $29,800 - $41,587

Overall, median incomes in the life sciences were greatest in the following areas:

West New Jersey ... $130,000
New Jersey suburbs of Philadelphia ... $110,105
Mobile, AL ... $100,350
San Jose, CA ... $100,000
San Francisco, CA & vicinity ... $97,500
Ventura County, CA ... $96,000
Middlesex-Essex Counties, MA ... $96,000
Toledo, OH ... $95,000
Hartford, CT ... $95,000
Nassau/Suffolk Counties, NY ... $94,839

The lowest incomes of life scientists were found in:

Columbia, SC ... $45,000
Jacksonville, FL ... $50,000
Huntsville, AL ... $52,325
South Bend, IN ... $53,487
Grand Rapids, MI ... $55,800
Cedar Rapids/Waterloo, IA ... $57,700
Tampa/St. Petersburg/Bradenton/Sarasota, FL ... $58,000
Pittsburgh, PA ... $58,000
Phoenix, AZ ... $59,000
Tallahassee, FL ... $59,100

The median incomes in the dozens of other metropolitan areas studied fell between $60,000 and $93,000

Nearly Single!

I have the next 21 Sundays and 16 Monday nights free. All to myself. It will seem like I'm a single girl again, but with twice as much laundry to do.

I'm Edgy, right?

So those edges may be a tad bit rounded, but they are still edges! I found an awesome salon this weekend. JetRhys is cited as one of the top salons in the US for “edgy style” by Cosmo and the like. It is amazingly cool (without being pretentious) and it is right down the street from our house (next door to as super sweet Buffalo Exchange). And they play good music (that techno-trance-triphop-deephouse-progressive stuff the kids these days listen to). Expensive? Yes. Unless your stylist is a “Level 1” styles, then it’s only $40! But Level 1 must mean right out of beauty school? Nope, the girl who I had an appointment with had been at JetRhys for two years. I think this was the first time I have left a salon without the I-like-to-watch-The-O.C.-hairsprayed-round-brushed blowout.

I'm not accusing anyone but my blanky was in the copy room and now it's not

THE 4-YEAR-OLD'S WORKDAY.
From McSweeney’s
- - - -
8:55 a.m. Arrive at office. Hang jacket on sunshine-shaped hook with name on it. Put snack in cubbyhole. Sing "Good Morning" song with co-workers.

9:04 a.m. Forward hilarious e-mail to everyone in address book. Subject line: "Poo-poo."

9:10 a.m. Take spreadsheets out of Star Wars backpack. Stretch out on floor and begin making notations with crayon.

9:15 a.m. Drink juice box.

9:25 a.m. Spend hour lining up office supplies on desk in perfect straight line. Toy with idea of sorting them by color but get distracted by imaginary conversation between stapler and three-hole punch. Complicated scenario ensues involving a lion, a puppy, and the mommy Hi-Liter kissing the daddy Hi-Liter.

10:40 a.m. Randy from accounting drops by and "borrows" pen with the springy pink feather on top. Grab pen back. Scream in each other's faces until Randy takes a swing with copy of Needs-Assessment Analysis. Supervisor intervenes and sends Randy to the smoke room for a time-out.

11:05 a.m. Intend to begin debugging online program for cross-referencing customer demographics. Get caught up in Polly Pocket website instead.

12:00 p.m. Lunch. Trade PB&J for tuna with Jerry from human resources. Friendly banter about who could take who in a fight: the Poky Little Puppy or the Cat in the Hat. Notice Donna is wearing Finding Nemo T-shirt for fourth straight day.

1:00 p.m. Write up statistical profile of user satisfaction based on regional trends. Entitle report "I Like Flowers."

1:30 p.m. Naptime.

2:12 p.m. Staff meeting proves unproductive due to constant requests to go pee.

2:40 p.m. Telephone headquarters to discuss department budget for upcoming fiscal year. While talking, draw picture of house. Feel special pride in the way the smoke spirals out of chimney. Tape picture to wall next to trophy for company T-ball championship.

3:00 p.m. Attend mandatory Employees' Committee workshop entitled "Ear Infections Are EVERYBODY'S Business." Session comes to abrupt halt when VP of finance jams eraser up nose.

3:30 p.m. E-mail from director of marketing: "I'm not accusing anyone but my blanky was in the copy room and now it's not. I hope whoever 'accidentally' took it will please return it, no questions asked. Otherwise I'm telling."

4:05 p.m. Ask Marco in adjoining cubicle to stop making "vroom-vroom" noises when he moves the mouse.

4:45 p.m. Try to duck out early, thus avoiding mandatory singing of "Cleanup" song with co-workers. Busted by supervisor, who announces that no one is leaving until everyone is sitting quietly.

4:55 p.m. Retrieve jacket from hook. Supervisor helps with zipper. Wave bye-bye to Cheryl at the front desk. Step into elevator. Press all the buttons.