New World vs. Old World

Our old hamburger place in Tucson was The Red Garter. Smoky, dark, windowless, lots of pool tables, good burgers and cheap pitchers. Those same guys were always belly-up to the bar. When you left you had to immediately wash the clothing you were wearing because it was so smoky. A lot of good Monday night football was watched there. All in all, a great place. Perhaps, it was even a home away from home.

But now we have a new hamburger place. The burgers are great, which is hard to find in SoCal because some places won’t cook them anything less than medium, due to some health standard or something. And it is walking distance from our house, which is awfully nice.

But Hamburger Mary’s does differ from The Garter in just a few small details. The décor is over-the-top pink flamingos. In all the nights we spent at The Garter I don’t think I saw even a single transvestite there. At HM last night there were three (strapless dresses seem to work much better on those who have broad shoulders).

HM does impose some rules, which are posted on the wall, to ensure nothing gets too out of hand:
1. No crying or fighting
2. Tricks are for kids
3. No puking
4. No showing tatas or wonkers
But last night on the patio (and mind you, this is a Monday at 7:30 pm) at least two of the above rules were broken by the table next to us.